Well I have survived an earthquake, hurricane, faculty strike, two exams, right around 100 hours of class, a hospital visit for bug bites and fever and many delayed subway rides... and I still love it here.
As for school: It's 40 students in one room, professors change so we don't move, either freezing cold or burning hot depending on the day, no windows... it's like jail except we choose to be there and don't want to be dismissed. We had to buy cushions for our seats because our butts and backs hurt so much by the end of the day and several of us suffer from stomach cramps from having to shovel food in and then sit for hours. I know this all sounds terrible, and while it isn't the most exhilarating adventure I have ever embarked on it is definitely fun in an odd and nerdy way. Plus, I add my own kick to it with my small group of girlfriends by making nicknames for everyone in class like the "fashionista" and the "novelist." Anyway...
I'd say the hardest part of being here, besides the non-stop studying and pressure of not failing out, is trying to understand all of the different accents I encounter on a daily basis. I swear english is no one's first language here, which makes listening to professors even more difficult. Let's start with yesterday (Monday) we had 6 hours of class with one professor who sounds like she was born in Portugal, moved to Chile then grew up in India and taught in Russia (not kidding). Professors switched and we had anatomy with a Native New Yorker- who I have the hardest time understanding and had to ask my classmates if there was supposed to be an "R" at the end of some of his words (they laughed since I am the only out-of-stater who obviously struggles with the harsh accent). Today I had 8 hours of cardiology class with a very nice African American man who talks with a more "black-person" accent and extremely fast... I repeatedly have to ask him to repeat himself. Then I finished my day with 3 hours of pathology taught by a WHITE Jamaican man who uses "fuck" every other sentence and manages to say "up the butt" and "poop" during each slide of his powerpoint which makes the entire class giggle like middle schoolers talking about boners.
Tomorrow eight of us are going to the hospital for the first patient-encounters, myself included- as Ms. Gansar (weird). We will be taking patient histories and vital signs while dressed up in our white coats and introducing ourselves as PA students to patients that have already told their stories ten times and do not want to be bothered by any more people. But hey we all learn the hard way not to check ourselves into a teaching hospital.
As for NY living... I have successfully tried 4 cupcake shops, found the best donuts I have ever tried in my life (dangerously close to my apartment) and have yet to eat at the same place twice. If all else fails I will just become a food-blogger.
My roommates are great. One of them is now one of my best friends- our connection is strong and weird. The other girl is very much about herself but we get along just fine. No boys in my life for the first time in a long time, it feels good but can be lonely. Michael and I do have dinner about once a week - nothing romantic going on however. Since there are 8 boys and 32 girls in the program, looks like I'm gonna be single for a few years.
And that is that for now. I miss you all and hope you are staying well because everything I learn makes me feel like you are each extremely sick with something.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
From August 31, 2011
Well I just got home from what was officially one of the proudest but scariest days of my life. Today was my first day of PA school where I sat in a desk in the freezing cold air conditioning and listened to my future professors tell me how difficult my life was about to become with an un-set class schedule that could change at any moment and more than 100 tests in my first year. They made sure to tell us that there are psychiatrists at our beck and call for free specifically for our program.
As we walked up to have our white lab coats presented to us the professor speaking reminded us of what the coats represent: that we are now healers, people that are looked up to and needed.
Then we stood there and took an oath that read:
-I pledge to give my whole effort toward the study and practice of medicine
-I will place the patient's needs before my own
-I will endeavor to relieve suffering
-I will seek new knowledge diligently and will use it only to help others
-I will adapt my behavior and attitudes to those consonant with the practice of medicine.
-I will acknowledge my mistakes and seek to learn from them
-I will respect all my faculty members, fellow students, preceptors and patients as individuals, without regard to gener, race, national origin, sexual orientation or religion
-I will assist other students in meeting their professional obligations; I will accept their help in meeting my own
-I will care for all who are in need, without regard to those issues that divide us
-I will seek to improve my community
-I will maintain my own well-being so that I can help others
-I therefore commit myself to a life that will bring honor to the Physician Assistant profession: a life of service, selflessness, integrity and humility.
Before it all ended our professor stood in front of the room and thanked all the family and friends for "sacrificing us." Since we will not be seeing you all much or in touch as much as usual. She thanked everyone for their support financially and emotionally. There was no promise of our health or life in the end, just simply a "Good luck class of 2013, you will be released in November of 2013 a little bit older, and G-d willing, much wiser."
So I just thought I would share this special day with you all as 38 other students and I signed our lives away. I love and miss you all and please do not take it personally if I don't keep in touch well. And please NO DEATHS, WEDDINGS or BIRTHS for the next few years- I want to be there.
Love you all,
Britt
As we walked up to have our white lab coats presented to us the professor speaking reminded us of what the coats represent: that we are now healers, people that are looked up to and needed.
Then we stood there and took an oath that read:
-I pledge to give my whole effort toward the study and practice of medicine
-I will place the patient's needs before my own
-I will endeavor to relieve suffering
-I will seek new knowledge diligently and will use it only to help others
-I will adapt my behavior and attitudes to those consonant with the practice of medicine.
-I will acknowledge my mistakes and seek to learn from them
-I will respect all my faculty members, fellow students, preceptors and patients as individuals, without regard to gener, race, national origin, sexual orientation or religion
-I will assist other students in meeting their professional obligations; I will accept their help in meeting my own
-I will care for all who are in need, without regard to those issues that divide us
-I will seek to improve my community
-I will maintain my own well-being so that I can help others
-I therefore commit myself to a life that will bring honor to the Physician Assistant profession: a life of service, selflessness, integrity and humility.
Before it all ended our professor stood in front of the room and thanked all the family and friends for "sacrificing us." Since we will not be seeing you all much or in touch as much as usual. She thanked everyone for their support financially and emotionally. There was no promise of our health or life in the end, just simply a "Good luck class of 2013, you will be released in November of 2013 a little bit older, and G-d willing, much wiser."
So I just thought I would share this special day with you all as 38 other students and I signed our lives away. I love and miss you all and please do not take it personally if I don't keep in touch well. And please NO DEATHS, WEDDINGS or BIRTHS for the next few years- I want to be there.
Love you all,
Britt
Friday, July 22, 2011
No one is going to read this, but I need to put it out there.
I’m writing because my horoscope told me to. It told me I have a talent to write but I haven’t been using it and if I don’t put it to work I am going to lose it. I write to feel better. Only depressed people are good writers, maybe that’s why I haven’t been writing, because I have been happy. But that’s a lie. I think I have avoided writing so one day I can forget about this time in my life. Pretend it never happened.
Ive gone through worse, much much worse. But I am still at a low. Less than 25 days from moving to Brooklyn where my life is going to be flipped upside down. Across the world from the only boy I want to be with but secretly I know there is a reason we never worked out. Stuck in Boulder with a boyfriend I cannot stand to kiss, but refuse to get rid of. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
I’m sick of my sisters making the house a mess and not cleaning up or helping out. I’m sick of my parents being worried about money as we all have our boyfriends here constantly using water and eating our food. I’m sick of my dad entering into the stage in his life where he is unhappy at all times. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
So where to now? Upstairs to have spaghetti dinner with my family on Shabbat? To Boulder to try and fix the latest shithole of a relationship I have ruined? Take a sleeping pill and stay in bed for the rest of the night? I need to get out of here. I am not girlfriend material, this is not the first time I have come to this realization in my life, it is just the first time I am actually realizing it is a true statement and I may never be able to marry someone. Get me to New York where I can be buried in schoolwork and helping people with no time to worry about anything else. Get me to Thailand where I can care for people and see the much bigger problems in the world in order to forget about mine. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
Ive gone through worse, much much worse. But I am still at a low. Less than 25 days from moving to Brooklyn where my life is going to be flipped upside down. Across the world from the only boy I want to be with but secretly I know there is a reason we never worked out. Stuck in Boulder with a boyfriend I cannot stand to kiss, but refuse to get rid of. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
I’m sick of my sisters making the house a mess and not cleaning up or helping out. I’m sick of my parents being worried about money as we all have our boyfriends here constantly using water and eating our food. I’m sick of my dad entering into the stage in his life where he is unhappy at all times. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
So where to now? Upstairs to have spaghetti dinner with my family on Shabbat? To Boulder to try and fix the latest shithole of a relationship I have ruined? Take a sleeping pill and stay in bed for the rest of the night? I need to get out of here. I am not girlfriend material, this is not the first time I have come to this realization in my life, it is just the first time I am actually realizing it is a true statement and I may never be able to marry someone. Get me to New York where I can be buried in schoolwork and helping people with no time to worry about anything else. Get me to Thailand where I can care for people and see the much bigger problems in the world in order to forget about mine. I’m writing because my horoscope told me to.
Monday, May 11, 2009
FYI
For those of you who do follow my boring and adventurous lifestyle... my friends and I have started a new blog. Check it out at http://thecitified.com/
We each have our own style of short and fun blogs (travel, shopping, music, going green, etc) We are The Citified!
Please pass this site on to people who enjoy blogs/blogging or anyone really. We are trying to make some money so spread the word about our interesting and fun blog!
We each have our own style of short and fun blogs (travel, shopping, music, going green, etc) We are The Citified!
Please pass this site on to people who enjoy blogs/blogging or anyone really. We are trying to make some money so spread the word about our interesting and fun blog!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sedona
I spent last weekend in a beautiful city called Sedona. It didn't feel like a city at all, it was like a mountain town- more like a combination of Estes Park, Vail and Aspen with the relaxation and views. The air was clean and refreshing and the mountains were redder than any I have seen.
My friends and I went to a few vortexes which were beautiful places and great energy to endure right before finals. We wanted a cleansing process of life before finishing up our Junior year and what better way than to be in the middle of nature and out of reach of any phones, homework or people. We only felt the energy of one of the vortexes and it wasn't very strong. You could definitely tell that the land was not normal because there was this light feeling throughout your body.
One day we spent laying around outside just talking for hours. The silence. The trees. My friends. I was so content with life, I never wanted to leave.
We explored the hippie town, got homemade ice cream, ate fudge, got barbeque and local beer. Drank a little at night and went swimming and hot-tubbing at our condominium. The aura of the area brought an inner-peace to us all.
The next day when we were heading out, we realized we weren't ready to hit back into reality and start studying. So we doddled around town again for a while and then decided to get psychic readings!
Obviously I am a firm believer in horoscopes and the aura of the world, but this reading was actually creepy it was so dead on and inspiring. She called out my love-life, my basically twin-sister and our connection, my schooling and future in medicine, told me I was a shaman, or peace maker, in a Native American tribe in my past life. It was all very detailed and beautiful. Scary and sad at times, but really gave me light on life and a good reminder to do what makes me happy, because sometimes I forget that.
My friends and I went to a few vortexes which were beautiful places and great energy to endure right before finals. We wanted a cleansing process of life before finishing up our Junior year and what better way than to be in the middle of nature and out of reach of any phones, homework or people. We only felt the energy of one of the vortexes and it wasn't very strong. You could definitely tell that the land was not normal because there was this light feeling throughout your body.
One day we spent laying around outside just talking for hours. The silence. The trees. My friends. I was so content with life, I never wanted to leave.
We explored the hippie town, got homemade ice cream, ate fudge, got barbeque and local beer. Drank a little at night and went swimming and hot-tubbing at our condominium. The aura of the area brought an inner-peace to us all.
The next day when we were heading out, we realized we weren't ready to hit back into reality and start studying. So we doddled around town again for a while and then decided to get psychic readings!
Obviously I am a firm believer in horoscopes and the aura of the world, but this reading was actually creepy it was so dead on and inspiring. She called out my love-life, my basically twin-sister and our connection, my schooling and future in medicine, told me I was a shaman, or peace maker, in a Native American tribe in my past life. It was all very detailed and beautiful. Scary and sad at times, but really gave me light on life and a good reminder to do what makes me happy, because sometimes I forget that.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Phoenix Metro-Light Rail Too Dirty?!
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2009-04-23/news/light-rail-operators-are-not-happy-and-when-you-read-this-crap-you-won-t-blame-them/
I'm not one to discourage cleaning, but these light rails are surprisingly clean. This article talks about how unhappy the light rail operators are with the upkeep and security forces of the light rails, now I ride the light rail at least six times a week, and I have to take the public city-bus to get to the light rail and I feel like I'm at the Four Seasons Maui when I get on the light rail after the bus ride. Granted there are newspapers and and maybe a coffee cup or two laying around, but I have yet to see urine, vomit, feces (from any mammal) or blood. I have had my fair share of conversations with some nasty people on those trains too, but they aren't leaving behind their stench, just holding it in the cart until their stop. I have never seen a passed out homeless person on the light rail either. They know better, because there are officers who come on and ask for bus passes and it's not worth the $50-$500 fine or being arrested (jail here must be miserable because I would think that anything would be better than sitting in the 100 degree heat).
I wish I could speak with the operators personally, like I can on the busses because the bus drivers are never very nice. It's like no one really wants to be on the bus anyway so why do you have to take your anger out on that red light? Why can't you respond when I say "Good morning!" I realize there is no such thing as a good morning, but even if you wanted to respond with "No it's not," at least you are responding. My whole life I've been riding busses, I took a school bus in elementary school, a public bus to see my parents after school, now the light rail and something I learned a long time ago is that bus drivers think they rule the world and in the end they definitely do rule your life. If your driver happens to be super friendly one morning, I can guarantee that you are going to have a better day than if they weren't happy and nice to you. If your driver is running five minutes or even three minutes late-your whole day has been put off-thank you long-nailed, tattooed woman whose hair looks better than mine. Sometimes the bus is too full and the driver chooses to either pass right by you or stop just to tell you you can't get on. I've seen the driver go into a daze many times and completely miss the request for a stop! What can they possible be thinking about that hard?
It's scary riding public transportation. I can't tell you how many times the light rail has come to a sudden halt and the operator comes over the speaker to apologize "Sorry there was a pedestrian, sorry a car almost turned right into us" or they just don't apologize because they were probably half asleep and didn't see the light turn yellow. Really the last thing that should be on the operators mind is the homeless man who didn't pay for his ride and smells like a diaper because they aren't the ones who have to sit near them and smell it for thirty minutes back to Tempe. Instead I would appreciate it if they just paid attention and tried to stay awake.
I'm not one to discourage cleaning, but these light rails are surprisingly clean. This article talks about how unhappy the light rail operators are with the upkeep and security forces of the light rails, now I ride the light rail at least six times a week, and I have to take the public city-bus to get to the light rail and I feel like I'm at the Four Seasons Maui when I get on the light rail after the bus ride. Granted there are newspapers and and maybe a coffee cup or two laying around, but I have yet to see urine, vomit, feces (from any mammal) or blood. I have had my fair share of conversations with some nasty people on those trains too, but they aren't leaving behind their stench, just holding it in the cart until their stop. I have never seen a passed out homeless person on the light rail either. They know better, because there are officers who come on and ask for bus passes and it's not worth the $50-$500 fine or being arrested (jail here must be miserable because I would think that anything would be better than sitting in the 100 degree heat).
I wish I could speak with the operators personally, like I can on the busses because the bus drivers are never very nice. It's like no one really wants to be on the bus anyway so why do you have to take your anger out on that red light? Why can't you respond when I say "Good morning!" I realize there is no such thing as a good morning, but even if you wanted to respond with "No it's not," at least you are responding. My whole life I've been riding busses, I took a school bus in elementary school, a public bus to see my parents after school, now the light rail and something I learned a long time ago is that bus drivers think they rule the world and in the end they definitely do rule your life. If your driver happens to be super friendly one morning, I can guarantee that you are going to have a better day than if they weren't happy and nice to you. If your driver is running five minutes or even three minutes late-your whole day has been put off-thank you long-nailed, tattooed woman whose hair looks better than mine. Sometimes the bus is too full and the driver chooses to either pass right by you or stop just to tell you you can't get on. I've seen the driver go into a daze many times and completely miss the request for a stop! What can they possible be thinking about that hard?
It's scary riding public transportation. I can't tell you how many times the light rail has come to a sudden halt and the operator comes over the speaker to apologize "Sorry there was a pedestrian, sorry a car almost turned right into us" or they just don't apologize because they were probably half asleep and didn't see the light turn yellow. Really the last thing that should be on the operators mind is the homeless man who didn't pay for his ride and smells like a diaper because they aren't the ones who have to sit near them and smell it for thirty minutes back to Tempe. Instead I would appreciate it if they just paid attention and tried to stay awake.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Spinning my wheels
Too many thoughts on the brain to go to sleep. Such a range of things too. This weekend was overall pretty worthless I would say. I should have gone to Coachella (music festival in Cali) with some old friends of mine, but I chose not to. Why? Well for one I definitely don't have the money. But, I also thought maybe I would miss out on something here, like hanging out with my friends or a guy that I spend some time with these days. I was WAY wrong. Everyone ended up working all day everyday and I spent most of my time alone, which, as most of us know, I do not enjoy after last semester. So what happened was I went in and out of mood swings as I attempted to do school work and find a place to live for next year. Mostly I would say I was in a bad and annoyed mood. I am sick of missing out on things because I try to plan to be with people. I feel like I am always planning my life around someone and then miss out on things because of it. I need to stop and learn that I should take the chances of losing some money and time spent with people because I never know what might happen when I do.
It sucks because I like people to think of me as a generally happy and life-loving person. But lately I haven't been that way and I don't know why. I have these mood swings of emotions that overwhelm me and ruin everything. I think I am still adjusting to being able to feel emotion. I wonder how long it will take me to understand all the emotions possible... I feel so behind.
One fun thing I did do this weekend was go to this city in Arizona known as "Little Mexico" called Guadalupe. Surprisingly and slightly scarily not far from Tempe lies this ghetto town that even Mexicans can get nervous about entering. I went because I have this list of things to do before I graduate and going and adventuring in Guadalupe is one of them. So my friend Marco and I went to a carnival in Guadalupe and I was the ONLY white person there. Not even white girl, just white person; with my Versace glasses on (because I need contacts since I seem to be going blind) and my thinning hair. Everyone stared and some people tried to talk to me like it was no big deal that I was sitting there waiting for my friend on the Zipper (roller coaster) all by myself. Honestly, I enjoyed being there, I liked to watch how these people interacted with each other, the clothes they wore and how everyone seemed to be related whether it was "oh that's my sister's nephew" or "nope that one's mine!" The best part of the whole night was across the street was a fiesta and what did they have? STREET TACOS! I haven't had them in years (the last time I went to Sayulita) and they were amazing! Just like tacos from the red chair place in Sayulita, all I needed was a crepe and I would have felt like I was there. My friends and I decided to get a few drinks at our favorite bar "Monkey Pants" down the street from our apartment to finish off the night.
So that was my one crazy and fun night, which was actually quite relaxed the whole time. Today was just as lame as the last two and I have to work in the morning but can't sleep because of all these stupid things on my mind. My foot really hurts, I think I did something to it during my run last night, it hurt all day but I went running today anyway.
I am supposed to go to a Formal this Friday but I don't like any of the dresses I have. I really should get a hair cut because my split ends are taking over the few hundred hairs I do still have. Luckily I can paint my own toes and nails! But my brows need a serious hacking at.
Then there is always this one person. This person I enjoy spending time with, but who doesn't have all the time I want to have with. This person does a lot of volunteering and extracurriculars and it takes up most of the time. I'm at a point where I cant decide if I would be happier with or without this person in my life because when I'm not with it I want to be and get annoyed when we cant hang out but when we are together I worry about all the work and sleep this person needs. It used to be so much fun and now I just plan my life around it (as usual) and I hate it. I promised myself after many things that happened last semester that I would never plan my life around someone and wait anymore. I need to do what makes me happy-but how do I figure that out? There are so many risks to find happiness.
Finally there is my family. I miss my family like crazy. Everyday I think about them and it sucks because when I talk to them on the phone you would never guess that I miss them as much as I do. I used to talk to my grandma on IM every night, but we have both been busy with other things lately. My sisters are all over the place and next year they will be even farther, and I wonder what I have sacrificed to be out here in the heat. My parents are always willing to talk and help, but from far away it just isn't the same. And every time someone mentions baseball I can't help but be sad about Graham's games that I am missing.
Tomorrow is 4/20 known for so many different things. National Drug Day, Hitler's birthday, 10th anniversary of Columbine. Some will be mourning, some will be high as a kite and living their lives however they choose-maybe seeing as many people as they can in a day, or going to places they've never been. Of all of the days in the year, this is one that I choose not to smoke on. Never have and probably never will-there is no rhyme or reason to it, just the way things have always been and something I don't ever want to change.
Well, I hope you have all enjoyed my insanity of a brain. I know it might be a lot and absolutely unentertaining. But, that's me. I will try to get some sleep now. I have a big deadline at work tomorrow.
It sucks because I like people to think of me as a generally happy and life-loving person. But lately I haven't been that way and I don't know why. I have these mood swings of emotions that overwhelm me and ruin everything. I think I am still adjusting to being able to feel emotion. I wonder how long it will take me to understand all the emotions possible... I feel so behind.
One fun thing I did do this weekend was go to this city in Arizona known as "Little Mexico" called Guadalupe. Surprisingly and slightly scarily not far from Tempe lies this ghetto town that even Mexicans can get nervous about entering. I went because I have this list of things to do before I graduate and going and adventuring in Guadalupe is one of them. So my friend Marco and I went to a carnival in Guadalupe and I was the ONLY white person there. Not even white girl, just white person; with my Versace glasses on (because I need contacts since I seem to be going blind) and my thinning hair. Everyone stared and some people tried to talk to me like it was no big deal that I was sitting there waiting for my friend on the Zipper (roller coaster) all by myself. Honestly, I enjoyed being there, I liked to watch how these people interacted with each other, the clothes they wore and how everyone seemed to be related whether it was "oh that's my sister's nephew" or "nope that one's mine!" The best part of the whole night was across the street was a fiesta and what did they have? STREET TACOS! I haven't had them in years (the last time I went to Sayulita) and they were amazing! Just like tacos from the red chair place in Sayulita, all I needed was a crepe and I would have felt like I was there. My friends and I decided to get a few drinks at our favorite bar "Monkey Pants" down the street from our apartment to finish off the night.
So that was my one crazy and fun night, which was actually quite relaxed the whole time. Today was just as lame as the last two and I have to work in the morning but can't sleep because of all these stupid things on my mind. My foot really hurts, I think I did something to it during my run last night, it hurt all day but I went running today anyway.
I am supposed to go to a Formal this Friday but I don't like any of the dresses I have. I really should get a hair cut because my split ends are taking over the few hundred hairs I do still have. Luckily I can paint my own toes and nails! But my brows need a serious hacking at.
Then there is always this one person. This person I enjoy spending time with, but who doesn't have all the time I want to have with. This person does a lot of volunteering and extracurriculars and it takes up most of the time. I'm at a point where I cant decide if I would be happier with or without this person in my life because when I'm not with it I want to be and get annoyed when we cant hang out but when we are together I worry about all the work and sleep this person needs. It used to be so much fun and now I just plan my life around it (as usual) and I hate it. I promised myself after many things that happened last semester that I would never plan my life around someone and wait anymore. I need to do what makes me happy-but how do I figure that out? There are so many risks to find happiness.
Finally there is my family. I miss my family like crazy. Everyday I think about them and it sucks because when I talk to them on the phone you would never guess that I miss them as much as I do. I used to talk to my grandma on IM every night, but we have both been busy with other things lately. My sisters are all over the place and next year they will be even farther, and I wonder what I have sacrificed to be out here in the heat. My parents are always willing to talk and help, but from far away it just isn't the same. And every time someone mentions baseball I can't help but be sad about Graham's games that I am missing.
Tomorrow is 4/20 known for so many different things. National Drug Day, Hitler's birthday, 10th anniversary of Columbine. Some will be mourning, some will be high as a kite and living their lives however they choose-maybe seeing as many people as they can in a day, or going to places they've never been. Of all of the days in the year, this is one that I choose not to smoke on. Never have and probably never will-there is no rhyme or reason to it, just the way things have always been and something I don't ever want to change.
Well, I hope you have all enjoyed my insanity of a brain. I know it might be a lot and absolutely unentertaining. But, that's me. I will try to get some sleep now. I have a big deadline at work tomorrow.
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