Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Point of Deletion

When do you finally come to the point of deletion in your life? When it is just time to say goodbye and let it go forever. The point when it's so hard to take anything that you just have to delete it all.

Sometimes things get overwhelming and you cry for no reason, sometimes things are fun and crazy and you cant help but smile.
But when things just don't make sense at all and there is no direction to go, no clear choice to pick, what do you do? Delete it all? Delete one way? Try one way and pray that it works out and hope that if that was the wrong way then maybe the other path is right behind you waiting.

Why can't it be more clear? It seems so simple from the outside: there it is, right in front of you the most perfect thing in the world practically begging you to choose it. Meanwhile all you want is for the other thing to show up out of the blue and make it all better. Is it a matter of you want what you cant have? Or is it truly something else, something deeper-a feeling, a wish, a sign from above.

It consumes my mind, makes my hair fall out. It's a constant cloud over my head, sometimes it clears for a few hours and then suddenly the storm rolls in and all I can think is this must be the point of deletion.

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